Abortion Clinic

This is Part Two, a continuation of "I Need An Abortion”

We arrived at the abortion clinic and immediately had to pre-pay for their services. I had no idea what to expect or what would be done to me and my baby. When we got to the waiting room I looked around and saw very sad faces, all different ages and colors of women sitting there waiting for the same thing. A facility worker took all of us into a small room where we watched a video that glamorized abortion, images of women moving on with life and pursuing future dreams. 

I was then taken to a room for one-on-one counseling with a facility worker. She asked me if I had thought about my options and if I really wanted to have an abortion. I had never talked about any other options with anyone and I told her that I had made up my mind that I was going to do this and move on. But part of me was still holding back a little and if someone had truly counseled me, I could have seen my situation in a different light.

Next was the medical assessment. My blood pressure was low and that was a concern to them, but they proceeded anyway. I did not ask them any questions about the surgical procedure and they did not offer any information to me regarding what I was about to go through. 

“...part of me was still holding back a little and if someone had truly counseled me, I could have seen my situation in a different light.”

I was taken to a room to change into a gown and then I was led to a small ultrasound room. As the tech performed an ultrasound, she told me I was six weeks pregnant. When I raised my head to look at the screen, she turned it away from me and gave me a disapproving look. I thought that was very odd, why wouldn’t she let me see my baby? I may have changed my mind when I saw my baby’s heartbeat. I brushed this off as another moment of silence, I did not question or argue.

“I was six weeks pregnant.”

Next, I was taken to a room that had three exam tables all lined up in a row. I was taken to the last one and asked to lie down. A medical assistant sat next to me and then a man in a white coat came over to me and started to make conversation. He was asking me about any plans I had for going to school and as I was answering him he suddenly started dilating my cervix without any explanation or pain medication. 

“When I raised my head to look at the [ultrasound] screen, she turned it away from me and gave me a disapproving look.”

The pain was unbearable and took my breath away. Very quickly I heard suction and terrible pain went through my body, a sensation I could have never imagined and one I cannot fully describe or ever forget. It felt as if the life was being sucked out of me, and it was. Within only a couple of minutes the whole procedure was over and I just lay there, shocked and feeling so empty. 

I looked over and another woman had been brought in and was being asked to lie on the table next to me. We were being lined up like cattle. There was no privacy and everything was so rushed. It was horrible.

After they inspected what was suctioned out of my womb (known as POC, product of conception), I was taken back to the room where I had changed. I was told to sit there for a few minutes and was given juice and crackers. No one took my blood pressure or checked to see how much I was bleeding. The staff was very abrasive in their interactions. Looking back I realize that there was a cloud of spiritual darkness over that place. 

As I sat there trying to process what had just happened, blood-curdling screams started coming from the abortion room. The woman who had instructed me to sit and eat the crackers burst into my room and asked me to leave. I went into the waiting room where I found my boyfriend, white-faced and standing at the door. He told me he thought that was me screaming and he was about to break down the door to come find me. 

We went to the front desk to check out and I left that place with discharge instructions, a pack of birth control pills, an empty womb, a confused mind and a broken heart. 

For more than nine years I did not talk about that experience with anyone, including my boyfriend who became my husband. 

To Be Continued…