Women Who Choose Adoption
The following is a combination of real accounts of women who chose adoption for their baby. Thank you to these brave, loving women for sharing their adoption stories so candidly.
If there’s one word to describe the moment I learned I was pregnant, it would be “terrifying”.
So I thought I knew what was best and scheduled an abortion. I had arranged for a friend to take me.
In my mind I was just thinking, I finally got out of that bad relationship. I have my own house, I have a good job. My son lives with me, I can’t raise another child. I can’t take off work. I have bills to pay.
I decided to place my baby for adoption because I felt like I could bless other people. I knew that I could not do what they could do for him. I just felt like I could not give him the life that he deserved to have. I was trying to be as selfless as possible.
I did not really feel regret. I just felt heartache because I knew I was not gonna get to rock him to sleep every night. But I knew where he was supposed to be...I know that this [adoption] is what is supposed to happen.
“I decided to place my baby for adoption because I felt like I could bless other people. I knew that I could not do what they could do for him. I just felt like I could not give him the life that he deserved to have. I was trying to be as selfless as possible.”
When I had him in the hospital, I knew that was going to be the last time I was going to hold him. I did go through a point where I felt like I couldn’t do this. How could I do this? Because I already had kids. But I ultimately knew that keeping this child would be selfish.
You just can’t really be prepared for the love that you feel for your child. And so I was pretty much like, rip up those papers, I need to just figure out if this is even what I want to do anymore.
“I knew that was going to be the last time I was going to hold him. I did go through a point where I felt like I couldn’t do this. How could I do this? Because I already had kids. But I ultimately knew that keeping this child would be selfish.”
The family didn’t want to know until it was finalized and I wasn’t ready right away, obviously. I needed peace about my decision again, but I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that adoption was the right thing for him, and for our lives. So I went that day and re-signed the papers.
I had peace about it after that.
This is the greatest gift that you can give someone.
I want my son to know that I love him more than anything. And that’s why I did it. That’s why I placed him for adoption.
“This is the greatest gift that you can give someone.”
It wasn’t because I didn’t want him. It’s because I wanted him to have a better life than I was going to be able to give him. And so I wanted to make sure that he has everything that he needs and the best life that he could possibly have.
My initial plan was as soon as he was born, he would be removed. I honestly didn’t think I could handle the emotional impact. But by the next morning, I realized I did want to see him. So they took me to the nursery and I got to hold and feed him and count his fingers and toes. And I got to say my hellos and goodbyes.
“It wasn’t because I didn’t want him. It’s because I wanted him to have a better life than I was going to be able to give him. And so I wanted to make sure that he has everything that he needs and the best life that he could possibly have. ”
I know I did the right thing. I know this is what I was supposed to do.
To talk with a counselor, call or text 24/7 at (800) 875-5595 for free, confidential, and no-pressure help making an adoption decision.
